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Air Mcdead first press conference

A guy is sitting at a news desk.

News guy-

“Hi, everyone it is your favorite weather guy, Johnny “Thunder Strom”.  This not braking weather news, and I am currently waiting for a press conference to start for the owners of the newly named team Air Mcdead.  This saw a press conference by invitation. The reason I am here and station sport guy Matt “Bad bat” Smith is not here.  Due to lack of ad revenue the TV station had to make some cuts and matt saw one of them. Also to cut cost the TV station is going have weather guy do all the sports news. We about five minutes away from the press conference starting,….So lets take a brake before… press conference starts.”

 

The first ad….

“Everyone dies and you have to bury them in something by law, so way not buy a cheap casket for the ones you love. Go to bestpricecaskets.com and check out are prices they are to die for……”

 

Johnny “Thunder Strom”-

“Sorry to brake in like this. But there has been an explosion near the podium ware the press conference is being held. Hang on the smoke is starting to clear look like two people are standing near the podium. People are a little more on edge today because it is September 11. What is that glitter? Someone is stepping up to podium and looks like someone is getting ready to talk so let go to the press conference now.

 

Owner Kevin-

 “BAM!”  Welcome to the opening press conference for the season. We going to do an opening statement, but thought by doing what we did saw a good enough statement to start the press conference.  Now open for questions:

 

Q: Why did you have a press conference on September 11?

 

Owner Kevin-

Well we tri….

 

Owner Brandon-

Kevin, let me take this.

 

Q: How in the hell are you?

 

Owner Brandon-

 I am owner Brandon. I am co-owner of the team.

 

Q: When did you and owner Kevin become co-owner and does the league office know about this?

 

Owner Kevin-

B let me take this one. We came to a deal, so owner Brandon could get back into league, after shadiness to keep him out of the league last year. After we lost in first round of the playoffs last year I know I need to bring in someone smart and that can think outside the box. This is a one year deal, with an option for one more. As far as the league office goes they could not find flashlight in a lighted room. I do not care what the league office thinks or tell me what do. I am going to do what ever I want. Have you seem some of things that have gone on in this league? This league is shadier then Bernie Madoff does investing for me last year.  Ok B go ahead and answer the original question.

 

Q: Owner Kevin were you not the one that help bring in the team that replaced owner Brandon team?

 

Owner Kevin-

Will I not answer such an ugly and untrue rumor .

 

Q: Clay Roth saw the owner. He made a statement that you gave him the money to start the, is that true?

 

Owner Kevin-If that saw true his team would have not folded like a house of cards. If he saw any good we would still be in league. NO MORE QUESTION ABOUT OWNER ROTH FAILED TEAM. Ok B go ahead and answer the original question.

 

Owner Brandon-

I forgot what the question saw.

 

Q: Why did you have a press conference on September 11?

 

Owner Brandon-

Ok Wel…

 

Owner Kevin-

B let me take this question. The reasoning is because every time we set a date for a press conference, something happen that would over showed it. Such as: The crazy death of  actor David Carradine, Walter Cronkite death, John Hughes death, Michael Jackson shocking death and hung over after having a Farrah Fawcett finely died party and Ted Kennedy death.  You also had when they found that girl in California after 18 years of being kidnapped. So we figured we would just do a press conference after the draft that way we could talk about everything. September 11 seemed like a prefect day to have press conference, because it will be a slow news day and there no way the news could sweep this press conference under the rug.

 

Q: Did you forget what happen on September 11?

 

Owner Kevin-

Hummmmmmmmmm……No that the date that Pearl Harbor was attack. Then total disrespected by Michael Bay, when made the movie Pearl Harbor. You talk about rubbing salt into an open cut.

 

Q: Mmmmm…No sorry that was December 7, 1941. Maybe this will help 9-11.

 

Owner Kevin-

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I am asshole then.

 

Owner Brandon-

Ok next question.

 

Q: So with it being three day away  from your first game of the year, who is you new head coach?

 

Owner Brandon-

He has been here for about six month, as matter of fact he saw one of the key people that helped us with our draft broad. We have to keep it under wraps, because of legal issues with the league and feds. All I can say is we are going to shake some things up this year with are new head coach. We are going to bring hardcore thuggery into league. Some teams thought they brought hardcore thuggery to league, but all they brought saw patty cake. We are going to taking thing to a new level in this league.

 

Q: Ok when will we be able to meet out new head coach and what kind of experience does he have?

 

 

 

Owner Brandon-

Mmmmm….You will meet the new head coach right before our first game. No question be asked, until is first press after the first game of the year. He has been a head coach for about six years. He has won a few regular season championships and been to title round, but lost in back to back seasons.

Q: How do you feel you did in the draft?

 

Owner Kevin-

We feel we got some of top players in league. We will be in all our games this year…I think our young players will really make different this year. We only have one returning player from last year D. Jackson.

 

Q: What is your team policy about players twittering during game?

 

Owner Kevin-

We are encouraging all of our players to twitter during the games and after the game…We want them to say what ever they want on anything they want. All our players were give accounts when they were drafted. Speaking of the draft we are filing an injunction order against the league for not letting us draft Steven McNair as our team mascot…Him lying in a casket on the sideline.

 

Q: Do you even know what an injunction order is?

 

Owner Kevin-

Yes, but I will not say. You guys got anymore questions?

 

Q: How will be star…..

 

Then another explosion happen….Smoke every ware….mixed with glitter.

 

 

Johnny “Thunder Strom”-

That seems about right. What a great start to what seem like a start to a messed up season….Now well go back to local programming…..Thank for watching and see you again at 5:30pm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 


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