haas's wit

Top 10 Albums of 2013
Dec 18, 2013

Top 10 Albums of 2012
Dec 27, 2012

Top 10 Albums of 2011
Dec 19, 2011

Pool Reinstated as Wopat Head Coach
Dec 08, 2011

Coach Pool Out of Mental Facility
Nov 23, 2011

Archive

user:
Password:

Wopat Week 2 Presser

Q: Why do they still have us covering these stupid things every week? It's a fading medium; web videos are what's hot these days.

JP: I don't know, isn't that a question for your bosses?

Q: Oh yeah.

JP: So...does anyone have any questions for me?

Q: Not really, no. You lost to your cousin again, despite having your starting running back Arian Foster rush for approx. 435 yards with 12 TD's.

JP: Yeah, and I didn't even know who that guy was two weeks ago.

Q: That's not surprising. So how do you feel about your team going into the 2nd week?

JP: Well, Eli played a lot better than I thought and if we get a few guys on track I think we'll...

Q: (interrupting) Yeah, we don't care about any of this.

JP: Fine. I didn't want to do this, but you uninterested jerks just made me change my mind. I actually got a scoop for all you ham n' eggers. The Tom Wopat Fan Club has...(dramatic pause) hired a "consultant."

Q: A "consultant?"

JP: Y'up. This guy used to be a big name in the FFF for a few years, then got into some issues and got accused by certain people of some stuff...then he disappeared for awhile. Now, he's currently in the witness protection program so I had to come up with a different name for him, but we believe this is the guy we need to help us reach the next level.

Q: But you've won two titles and are consistantly among the top teams...

JP (interrupting) Ladies and gentlemen, I present the new "consultant" of the Tom Wopat Fan Club...Don Rayne!

Q: Don Rayne?

A guy that looks like a former FFF RB comes up to the stage. He's wearing a paper bag over his head but has on a pair of sunglasses outside the bag.

JP: Now, my man Don here has certain connections around the league and he has assured us he's the guy that can get the inside scoop on all the FFF happenings.

Q: You mean, spying?

DON RAYNE: I ain't no snitch, yo.

JP: Yeah, you heard him. No, we're gonna use this guy to be our own personal Ron Jaworski - breaking down game film, evaluating talent, spying on other teams, etc.

DON RAYNE: Yo, Dominick. I haven't forgotten, homeboy.

JP: Yeah yeah, shut up.

Q: Unbelievable.

JP: So, now you assholes will have something to write about, eh?

Q: Hey, "Don" - I heard your stolen jewelry was mysteriously returned to another one of your homes, have any comments?

DON RAYNE: Well, I...

JP: (interrupting) No no, he doesn't know what you're talking about. Now we gotta go.


comments (0) 09-20-2010

The People's Comments:

None Currently

Home | Site Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Services | Jobs | Advertise Wtih LWJ | Help

Copyright 2008 Young Creative Solutions. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Notice..