Guess what day it is
Jan 01, 2014
The 2013 What-If College Football Tournament
Dec 08, 2013
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The What-If NCAA football Tourney, 2012
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Road Trip, day ten
Mar 15, 2012
Sawyer post game celebration
Members of the Sawyer Pilots pour into the locker room, cheering, opening bottles of champaigne. Coach Charlie Sims walks over to some assembled media.
CS- Well folks, this is the one we were waiting for. Ever since 2003 when we took a 7-1 record into our game with the Monkeys, and they pulled off the upset, we've wanted revenge ever since, and here I think we got it.
Q- Coach, given what happened to your team following that game in 2003, is there any bad blood between the two franchises?
CS- None at all. You know, we're professionals here and there's no 'bad blood' or any kind of negative feelings at all. I just want to smash their faces in every time I see them and then dance on their corpses, but I wouldn't say bad blood or anything like that.
Q- Is it nice to get a win over Monkeys after all these years?
CS- Well, you say that like they keep beating us year after year. No. They joined our league out of the blue back in '03. No one invited them. No one knew who the hell they were. They sucked for eight weeks, then beat us, then disappeared like little bitches for seven years. It's not like it's been gnawing at us, causing us to lose sleep, causing us to fail in relationships and feel like less of a man. Causing us to weep silently at night. No, not like that at all.
Q- Coach, even though we're just three games into the season, do you feel the six and a half year tailspin is over for your franchise?
CS- Oh most definitely. The curse of whoever that guy was that we traded is gone. These guys came through. They deserve all the credit in the world. It was looking iffy at first and then Devin Hester returned that punt for a touchdown to put us ahead. Tony Romo did one hell of a job. Tony did such a great job, I'm giving him the week off. He and Lindsey Lohan, Jessica Simpson, a couple of the Kardashians, some bitch from some MTV reality show, a chick from survivor, the redhead from the Rhapsody commercials, and Rachel Spector are all getting on his boat and heading to Cancun for a drunken orgy. He deserves it.
Q- What about the Venom?
CS- The who with the what now?
Q- The Venom, the team you play this week?
CS- Oh, Haselbeck's got that.