haas's wit

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Wopat Week 10 Presser

POOL: As you can see, the one week suspension is over and I am back to coaching the team.

DAYNE: Yeah and I here too, son!

POOL: Yes. Mr. Haas has informed me that since Ron here got us a big win last week, he's decided to keep him in his current position.

DAYNE: So I the coach too, yo.

POOL: I guess you could say were co-coaches. Or bi-coaches if you will.

DAYNE: I ain't bi-anything, playboy.

POOL: Yeah I meant that we...

DAYNE: I don't care what you meant. I did a better job coaching than you so I call the shots now, straight up.

POOL: Well for one week I agree you got them to play a good game. But clearly I have the final say over things; I think my two championships and multiple playoff berths can attest to that.

DAYNE: I ain't hearin' that. You think 'Dre, Bowe and Marshall gonna listen to your punk-ass? I'ma get my lead on.

POOL: Listen, I don't have a problem with you Ron. I'm the one who pushed for Mr. Haas to hire you, remember?

DAYNE: Yeah now we done. That's how the Dayne Train works, fool. You like a street walker in downtown Ypsi - your money's on the dresser now get out of my loft, old school.

POOL: I'm starting to see why you have so many enemies around the league. Why don't you go get drunk with Coach Young again and break Dallas Clark's kneecap apart?

DAYNE: I'm done with this shit. We gotta take out Coach Presseau this weekend. I deal with you later.

POOL: Yes, Coach Presseau's got his team ready and it should be a good challenge for us.

DAYNE: And tell ya boy Eli to get his game on; the Dayne Train's got a bad feeling Eli gonna be throwing to Presseau's receivers more than ours, word up. He gets intercepted more than Coach Pool hittin' on chicks at the Flight Club, yo.

POOL: Now listen here you piece of human crap...

DAYNE: Oh no son, you better watch what comes out of that cake hole of yours. You lip up and I gonna make sure you end up at the bottom of Lake Superior like Deezy.

POOL: Hey, just like the Edmund Fitzgerald.

DAYNE: I thought Fitz was on the Dolphinszz?

POOL: (sighs) Never mind. And I don't think you want to be threatening me in public like this.

DAYNE: Why? Afraid what a player might do when he calls his boys and they handle his business?

POOL: Yeah, and then you end up in the witness protection program after going to the cops?

DAYNE: I ain't no snitch!

POOL: That's the very definition of being a snitch, jackass!

Coach Pool and Ron Dayne start fighting each other at the podium.

Q: So...do we get to ask any questions this week?

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